Spy Review- By Michael J. Carlisle

 Title: Spy
Year: 2015
Director: Paul Feig
Country: US
Language: English

Spoof:
- Forgery of goods or documents
- A type of satire, specifically a parody, in which an original work is made fun of by creating a similar but altered work.
- Australian slang for semen
Regardless of which definition fits, Spy is not a good

Susan Cooper (Melissa McCarthy) is an unassuming, deskbound CIA analyst, and the unsung hero behind the Agency's most dangerous missions. When her partner falls off the grid and another top agent is compromised, she volunteers to go deep undercover to infiltrate the world of a deadly arms dealer, and prevent a global crisis.

Spy makes Goldmember look like a shining beacon of master art. It's full of vulgar humor that is delivered without comic timing or subtlety. We hear every variety of the word "bitch", but have no real punchline.  Ha! She's a potty mouth! Perhaps the shock factor of poo, vomit, fart and sex jokes would work on an Elementary School playground but as an adult I find it dull, poorly written and lazy. I wasn't a fan of Edgar Wright's The World's End, but at least he knows how to do physical comedy well!

I did like Jason Statham's character however; he does a good job at satirizing his usual onscreen persona. Statham acts like a badass, but is completely incompetent and is always at the mercy of his foe. Overall the film didn't do much at all to set itself apart from every other spy movie. Its plot is very formulaic (underdog gets heroic role, underdog screws up, good guy is actually bad guy, end helicopter scene, bad guys lose) and it isn't sly/meta enough to be forgiven.

If Spy Hard (1996)  and Casino Royale (1967) aren't enough to satisfy your need for hilarious thriller spoofs, then I recommend 21 Jump Street (2012). Really, do anything you can to avoid the eternal stench of this lame attempt to be feminist. Piss on it! 1/5

Trumbo Review- By Michael J. Carlisle

Title: Trumbo
Year: 2015
Director: Jay Roach
Country: US
Language: English

James Dalton Trumbo (Dec 9, 1905- Sept 10, 1976) was an American screenwriter and novelist. He is most noted for winning two Oscars (Best Writing for Roman Holiday & Best Writing for The Brave One) and being part of the Hollywood Ten during the Communist Scare of the 1950's. The Hollywood Ten refers to 10 motion-picture producers, directors, and screenwriters who appeared before the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC)  in October 1947, refusing to answer questions regarding their communist affiliations and ultimately being blacklisted by the Hollywood Studios. Most were never again employed by Hollywood again, but a few wrote under pseudonyms. After the scare ended in the 60's Trumbo and another writer wrote scripts under their real names once again. 

Trumbo recounts how Dalton used words and wit to win two Academy Awards and expose the absurdity and injustice under the blacklist, which entangled everyone in Hollywood. 

Trumbo is a good film, but not great. I love how this film is so adamantly against the blacklist, but I would have enjoyed more complicated antagonists. Exposing communists during the cold war was more of a difficult decision than just "I love America and Freedom!" (at least one would hope). Elia Kazan had such mixed feelings about "naming names" that he had to make On the Waterfront to get it out of his conscious. 

There's no denying that the Hollywood blacklist did destroy lives however, and the film does show the physical and mental decay of Dalton Trumbo very well. When he rants to his dying friend about "exposing the studio" we think the character has gone insane; it certainly doesn't help that he is addicted to pills and booze. Trumbo's great depiction is in part due to clever writing and in part due to Bryan Cranston's phenomenal performance. He embodies every aspect of the tortured writer, even getting offbeat patterns in the man's speech down to a tee.  

I would have liked the film to be less of a hagiography and less bias in favor of the writers. The heroes and villains of this story are drawn with such black and white lines. Hedda Hopper (Helen Mirren) reminds me of Cruella Da Vil in her comic-book like villainy. "CATCH THOSE COMMIES!" I also wish the film would have focused more on the lives of the other writers and how the blacklist affected them, but I suppose Trumbo was the most successful/interesting of them? Overall it's an entertaining film that has potential within its story. 3.5/5

The Squid and the Whale Review- By Michael J. Carlisle

 Title: The Squid and the Whale
Year: 2005
Director: Noah Baumbach
Country: US
Language: English

The Squid and the Whale is a semi-autobiographical comedy drama about Director Noah Baumbach's Brooklyn childhood and the effects of his parents' divorce on the family in the 1980's. In an interview, Baumbach said of the film, "Sometimes when I think about the whole experience of this, it starts to become a joke within a joke within a joke. The film is not only inspired by my childhood and my parents’ divorce, but it was also the first script I didn’t show to my parents while I was working on it. It’s not that I wanted to protect them from anything. I just wanted to keep it my own experience.

The dysfunctional family of pseudo intellectuals composed by the university professor Bernard (Jeff Daniels) and the prominent writer Joan (Laura Linney)  split. Bernard is a selfish, cheap and jealous decadent writer that rationalizes every attitude in his family and life and does not accept "philistines" - people that do not read books or watch movies, while the unfaithful Joan is growing as a writer and has no problems with "philistines. Their two young kids take sides and battle lines are drawn.

The best thing that can be said about this film is that it is well-written. The dialogue can go from witty to cut throat in a heartbeat. The characters are well crafted; each one I can relate to & see myself in. I don't find it easy to empathize with the main child, Walt Berkman (Jesse Eisenberg) because it is easy to be envious of the life he has. If only everybody's biggest problem in life was the divorce of their parents. However, suffering is suffering; not every man can have problems the magnitude of Spartacus. 

The Squid and the Whale is essentially about how we grow up by absorbing what is useful in our parents and forgiving what is not.  Joan cheats on her husband, but has an optimistic view of marriage & romance whereas Bernard has a pessimistic view of marriage & encourages his son to "play the field" but never thinks he should be cheated on. Ultimately Baumbach we shouldn't blame our on difficulties on our parents, because we can make choices. We can choose to let go of the negative and learn from the positive. Overall a well made picture with a very important message. Praise it! 4/5

Top Ten Films of 2015- By Michael J. Carlisle

 Admittedly I haven't seen many films from this year. I made great effort to do so during the Summer and then got distracted by old classics like Satyajit Ray's Apu Trilogy. I don't even remember going to the theatre this year, which is quite odd as there usually is at least one film playing locally that is worth the admission. Unfortunately a lot of your favourites may be omitted, but perhaps you'll find something new to see in this list! Films will be reviewed individually at a later date.

1. Arabian Nights (Miguel Gomes) 

2. A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (Ana Amirpour) 

3. 45 Years (Andrew Haigh)

4. White God  (Kornel Mundruczo)

5. The Forbidden Room (Guy Maddin)

6. Force Majeure (Ruben Ostlund) 

7. Love (Gaspar Noe) 

8. Love & Mercy (Bill Pohland) 

9. While We're Young (Noah Baumbach) 

10. Youth (Paolo Sorrentino) 

Die Hard Review-By Michael J. Carlisle

Title: Die Hard
Year: 1988
Director: John McTiernan
Country: US
Language: English

T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, unless you count McClane
The bullets were riddled through the terrorists with care
In hopes the hostages would soon be spared

Hans Gruber was content on ruining the day
While units of policemen were shouting no-way!
the ending, well I'm I don't intend to spoil
but lets just say, some bad words were said as the villains were foiled
(unless you watch the censored version)
Yippee-Ki-Yay Melon farmer! 

John McClane (Bruce Willis), officer of the NYPD, tries to save wife Holly Gennaro (Bonnie Bedelia) and several others, taken hostage by German terrorist Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) during a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles.

When it comes to Christmas classics, John McTiernan's Die Hard doesn't quite get the respect it deserves. Sure it's not the family affair that is A Christmas Story, it's not as sentimental as It's A Wonderful Life and it doesn't have the child abandonment issues Home Alone has but it is set during Christmas eve so that has to count for something right? Die Hard has a bold anti-materialism message; McClane doesn't care how many windows he destroys or bullets he wastes, as long as he can see his wife for Christmas. He would do anything for FAMILY.

For a late 80's flick Die Hard contains some very impressive practical special effects. It also has remarkable stunt work & well conceived performances, especially by Alan Rickman. It's not a very smart movie, but very few of the action genre are.  It is said to have reinvented the action genre and set the 90s for action/thriller movies such as Under Siege and Passenger 57. The film is also responsible for popularizing the "action star" archetype that is a far more fallible and human hero. It's riddled with plot holes, thus not being very good if you think about it for too long, but it's decent when mindless. 3/5

Spaceballs Review- By Michael J. Carlisle

 Title: Spaceballs
Year: 1987
Director: Mel Brooks
Country: US
Language: English

Before Star Wars became a parody unto itself (although J.J Abrams appears to do well in  making us forget about Lucas' blunders) Mel Brooks stepped up to plate as he has done many times throughout his career. My favorite film of his, Blazing Saddles, made fun of Westerns too manly to show a scene full of men farting after a bean-filled dinner. The man rarely misses a beat; making us laugh hysterically throughout the run-time. Can the same be said for Spaceballs? 

Planet Spaceballs' President Skroob (Mel Brooks) sends Lord Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) to steal planet Druidia's abundant supply of air to replenish their own, and only Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) can stop them.

Spaceballs' original theatrical run began during the 10th Anniversary of A New Hope and, while that certainly is practical, it's a shame Mel Brooks didn't think of making the film sooner when Star Wars was much more relevant. Though the film made a decent amount of cash & did fairly well with the critics I can't help but think it could have made a much bigger impact if released during the late 70's. In contrast, 1980's Airplane is only five years removed from the 1975 disaster film Airport  and thus made significantly more than Spaceballs at the box office

Mel Brook's sci-fi comedy is everything you'd expect out of a Brooks' affair; great visual gags, wacky characters and fourth wall breaking jokes. I particularly love when Dark Helmet watches Spaceballs: The Movie in order to find out about our heroes plans. The scene in which Yogurt (a parody of Yoda) demonstrates the power of merchandise is all too relevant in our commercialized studio system, ii shows the main reason why Star Wars has remained so successful. 

Admittedly some scenes drag on too long and/or are not as well written as you'd hope. There are many great gags, but overall the film appears to be lacking an essential item that would deem it "great". I suppose the comedy isn't really constructive or thought provoking, it's low brow and often juvenile. The comedy doesn't say anything that anybody else couldn't think of or hasn't thought of. That being said, I did laugh quite a bit. 3/5

The Force Awakens Review- By Michael J. Carlisle

Title: The Force Awakens
Year: 2015
Director: J.J Abrams
Country: US
Language: English

Over the last 38 years, the Star Wars franchise has been so mass produced & mass distributed that everyone and their mama has heard of it. It has become as American as apple pie; it's almost a sin not to enjoy it. I have a hate-hate relationship with the series; A New Hope helped kill New Hollywood, an era of filmmaking defined by the counterculture, and brought about the blockbuster era. Essentially everything I hate about "Hollywood" these days (mass marketing, special effects over plot) started with Star Wars. Will I like this new installment however? Continue reading!

Three decades after the defeat of the Galactic Empire, a new threat arises. The First Order attempts to rule the galaxy and only a rag-tag group of heroes can stop them, along with the help of the Resistance.

First off, let me say that I LOVE Kylo Ren. Mainly because Adam Driver is playing the character & I am a huge fan of his work. He's a great actor & brings great depth to this fallen sith. This character is BETTER than Vader because he's more complex & isn't just some random villain. He's torn between a light side & a much more cult-ish dark side. I do like how the dark side is presented in more of a cult-like fashion rather than nazi militarism. It's a unique perspective.

The Force Awakens is MUCH better than the awful prequels, although that isn't saying much. ANYTHING is better than the prequels. Granted I did go into this film with very little expectations and found myself surprised. It isn't great, but it delivers & will excite fans of the series. It delivers, mainly because much of the plot is HEAVILY based on A New Hope (Droid has important info, Bad guys need to find it) J.J Abrams sticks with the familiar & doesn't try anything too risky. Do Star Wars fans want anything vastly different from the original though? Even if it's different in a good way? I doubt it.

I wouldn't recommend paying to see this; it will just entice Hollywood to keep making more big budget mindless action films. Spend your money on films that need the cash. Although at the same time, I'd like folks to support Adam Driver because that guy is going places. Stream The Force Awakens and then buy a boxset of Lena Dunham's Girls. 3/5

War Room Review- By Michael J. Carlisle

Title: War Room
Year: 2015
Director: Alex Kendrick
Country: US
Language: English

In September 2015, a Christian film called War Room was #1 at the box office, and has since gone on to become the top-grossing independent evangelical Christian movie ever in North America. This is surprising, because my encounters with "Christian" flicks seem to leave me underwhelmed. They often try to reach a broad audience, but non-Christians find them preachy, near propaganda, too sentimental & condescending. Many don't show a realistic internal struggle that comes with either having or questioning faith. Pictures like Grace Unplugged depict faith as how rich white men experience it, not how it really is. Thought I respect the religion, I don't identify as a Christian. I'm more of an agnostic who wants to believe in God but isn't ready to take the "leap of faith". Here is my review of War Room
.
 The picture follows Tony and Elizabeth Jordan, a couple who seemingly have it all-great jobs, a beautiful daughter, their dream home. Unfortunately appearances can be deceiving. In reality, their marriage has become a war zone and their daughter is collateral damage.

"Victories don't come by accident"  Ok, but sometimes victories in war don't happen at all (as the case with Vietnam & the Iraq war). Sometimes victories happen at the cost of millions of lives. Sometimes we have to nuke Hiroshima & Nagasaki in order to win the war. Is this film going to end with the nuking of a spiritual Hiroshima? I hope not. 

On a serious note, what did I just watch? The husband is cheating on his wife and the WIFE is asking for forgiveness? Yep, it's a pretty sexist picture where the entire relationship depends on the woman & how she needs to gain more faith in God despite the husband being the problem. "How can I submit to my husband?"  Course the problem isn't him and his verbally abusive ways, no it's THE DEVIL who is purposefully messing with her mind. What the hell!? (pun intended!)

Ridiculously preachy, War Room is about as subtle as a napalm enema. "Go to hell and leave my family alone!" *triumphant music* Hey did you know that if you shout "in the name of Jesus!" to a mugger he'll leave you alone? Admittedly I didn't fully understand the concept of "faith" and "grace" before I watched the movie, but I feel this film reduced my understanding. Forget marriage counseling, PRAYER is what you need.

Perhaps the biggest sin this picture commits is the fact that it makes light of abuse. There's no other way to put it, her husband is an asshole and she constantly is apologizing for it. "I shouldn't be the judge, GOD is his judge!" Certainly one should work at their marriage, but we shouldn't be encouraging victim blaming. Granted the  husband does repent (seemingly out of the blue with no build up) , but the film suggests it's because of the wife's faith. "I will fight for our marriage because I love Jesus" Blah, I'm glad I didn't pay to see this. 0.5/5

Crash Review- By Michael J. Carlisle

Title: Crash
Year: 2005
Director: Paul Haggis
Country: US
Language: English

Webster's Dictionary defines racism as, "prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior." It also defines condescending as "to do something in a haughty way, as though it is below one's dignity or level of importance". With those two definitions in mind, we can proceed in reviewing Crash.

 Over a thirty-six hour period in Los Angeles, a handful of disparate people's lives intertwine as they deal with the tense race relations that permeate among life in the city.

Crash, along with Driving Miss Daisy, is perhaps the worst picture about race relations that I have ever seen. It's a heavy handed film in approach, never ceasing to be a preaching mess. Containing all the subtlety and nuance of a napalm enema, director Paul Haggis depicts racism as upper class white people see it, not how it really is. Racism is more than just "I'm a white woman who is sometimes scared of black men!", racism is complex & institutional.

Relying heavily on sentimentalism, Crash is Do the Right Thing dumbed down for pre-schoolers. The careless handling of such a serious and important topic is pretty insulting. The characters are dull & uninspired, which ultimately makes their eureka moment not worth much. I can't find much, if anything, positive about this flick. It's an attempt to be humanist gone wrong, an interweaving train wreck that constantly pats itself on the back. 

Ultimately Crash takes a reserved politically correct stance when addressing America's biggest problem. Poor dialogue, stiff acting and troublesome technique make this picture a failure in every sense of the word. I wouldn't watch it again. 0.5/5

Caligula Review- By Michael J. Carlisle

Title: Caligula
Year: 1979
Director(s): Tinto Brass, Bob Guccione
Country: Italy
Language: Italian

Born Gaius Julius Caesar, Caligula (AD 12- AD 41) was an emperor known for his cruelty, sadism, extravagance, and sexual perversity. Although he was well-liked during the first six months of his reign, most sources present his character as an insane tyrant. During his reign Caligula sought to increase his own power beyond rational means, directing attention to luxurious dwellings for his own personal use. In an attempt to restore the Roman Republic he was assassinated as a result of conspiracy by officers of the Praetorian Guard, senators, and courtiers

Caligula depicts the rise and fall of the notorious Roman Emperor, showing the violent methods that he employs to gain the throne, and the subsequent insanity of his reign.  There are various versions of the film, ranging from the heavily truncated 90-minute version to the legendary 160-minute hardcore version.

The film was originally set to be a low-budget historical drama film by Gore Vidal and his friend's nephew Franco Rossellini, but they found the budget too low to finish the picture. Desperate to complete the film, they turned to Bob Guccione, publisher of Penthouse magazine, for help. He inserted many scenes of hardcore sex & nudity to the film and as a result most of the cast & crew disowned the picture. Critics were also cold to it; Roger Ebert famously walked out of the picture in disgust, giving it a 0 star review and claiming that it was "sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash."

Though controversial for it's time, Caligula may seem far more tame when compared to modern monstrosities like The Human Centipede. The film is quite graphic, but how does one make a picture about mad power without defying the grasp of censorship? It's depiction of corruption in ancient Rome, which dramatizes the political theme that "absolute power corrupts absolutely", is quite on point and quite effective despite very little plot, subtlety or meaning. Mainstream culture has accepted this notion of a barbaric Rome, and has depicted it in such a light time & time again. Caligula is noteworthy because it goes above and beyond where most films would dare go. It is ALL id. Praise it! 4/5