Junior (1994) Review

Title: Junior
Year: 1994
Director: Ivan Reitman
Country: US
Language: English

I watched Junior (1994) when I was far too young. This movie was recurring nightmare fuel for an impressionable 6 year old boy, who thought the plot was real. "Boys can get pregnant!?". My anxiety went through the roof as I struggled to understand basic anatomy & was convinced I could get myself pregnant at any moment. "How do babies even get made!?" After a few weeks of trying to protect myself from whatever made boys pregnant, "Does eating apples cause it!?" I went to my parents who informed me of some pretty basic common knowledge.

As part of a fertility research project, a male scientist (Arnold Schwarzenegger) agrees to carry a pregnancy in his own body

Even in 2024, I'm quite baffled by that a film - where Arnold Schwarzenegger gets pregnant - was greenlit and financed at all. How did so many people think this would work!? In the 90's he was at the height of his popularity as an action star; Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) was a critical and commercial hit. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to say "how about in the next film I get pregnant?" The most shocking part is that it works as a concept & proves to be a fairly entertaining - albeit sometimes terrifying- film. 

In Roger Ebert's review, he says that actors should be envious of Schwarzenegger's range, and I certainly agree with that sentiment. Arnold can be vicious (Terminator), funny (Kindergarden Cop) and somehow sweet (Junior) without losing his aura of being a marketable action star. Junior will have you on a different emotional journey depending on when in your life you watch it. Over the decades I've found it sweet, disgusting, creepy, absurd, funny and just about every emotion you can think of. I don't know if I hate the film or am fond of it. 

Sometimes I find the "acting like a pregnant woman" humor sexist and off-putting, while other times I think it's hilarious because of the way Schwarzenegger expresses himself. It's juvenile humour that, (sort of?) rises, above by making a statement about how hard it is to grow a kid inside you. I don't know where this would land with audiences in the 2020's. For now I'll say, watch it with reservation. 

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003) Review

Title: Cheaper by the Dozen
Year: 2003
Director: Shawn Levy
Country: US
Language: English

Cheaper by the Dozen was a 1940's bestseller, written by two of the twelve children of a real man named Frank Gilbreth. He applied his job as an assembly line improver at home, breaking down the family home into simple elements and then assigning specific tasks to his children. For many, he proved that raising 12 children was as easy as raising two. That may have worked for the "father knows best". Leave it to Beaver era of family, but would it still be as easy in the 21st Century? Steve Martin would find out!

With his wife (Bonnie Hunt) on a book tour, Tom Baker (Steve Martin) finds his life turned upside down when he agrees to care for his twelve children while simultaneously also coaching his new football team.

Over 50 years later, the 1940s father figure is viewed as an outdated, chauvinistic relic of the past. A faithful portrayal of Gilbreth would have felt out of place for audiences in 2003. Instead, early 2000s Hollywood took a different approach—depicting the Cheaper by the Dozen father not as an authoritative patriarch, but as an incompetent, hapless fool. However, even this version of fatherhood has not aged well. In 2025, this trope is equally outdated, reinforcing sexist ideas that a household inevitably falls into chaos without a mother’s presence.

Cheaper by the Dozen is a manic, chaotic film with various Home Alone-esque shenanigans. It tries very hard to be funny, but much of the humor doesn't land & it can feel like a tedious watch at times. You'd think the pacing would be relentless - and sometimes it is- but some of the film is also painfully slow. This stop & go momentum can be quite annoying. 

Although each character feels like their own distinct person, they do not add a lot of depth to the story & ultimately, except for Steve Martin & Hilary Duff, there is very little character development. I feel like Cheaper by the Dozen might have worked for 2003, Roger Ebert liked it at the time, but would be despised if made today. Steve Martin's best work was well behind him by that time.