Director: Seth Macfarlane
Year: 2012
Country: US
Language: English
Tonight I watched Macfarlane's Ted in theatres because I thought it was going to be a fun yet intelligent comedy that would touch on deep issues. My instinct told me to download it, but my head said "It's cheap night" and thus I went out of my way to see this film. I also saw that Wahlberg in the cast and I immediately thought of his performance Boogie Nights, somehow thinking his performance in that film would be as good in this film. Macfarlane owes me my money back, not only is this one of the worst, most cliche & unoriginal "comedies" I have seen but it wasn't that funny and I feel I have lost a few IQ points for seeing it. Is this what the casual film goer finds funny? Really?
The opening scenes focus on John Bennet (Mark Whalberg) who is undoubtedly the most disliked kid in the neighborhood, even the Jewish kid who gets bullied doesn't like him. Young John just wants a friend who will be there for him and help him get through the good and the bad. Along comes Christmas, his parents give him a large Teddy Bear. He wishes for the bear to become real and overnight that's exactly what happens. Ted becomes an overnight sensation, a celebrity because of the sole reason that he exists. "Look what Jesus did!" yells a reporter. Years go by, Teddy's fame fades. John and Ted stay living together, unable to move out of the adolescent period of their lives and spend their days smoking weed and watching old Flash Gordon episodes. However John can't stay this way for long, he has a cute girlfriend (Mila Kunis) he has somehow dated for four years and she wants a man she can marry, not a man she needs to babysit. Eventually John may have to choose between adulthood (Mila) or childhood (Ted)
The plot is standard and simplistic. The relationship between John, Mila and Ted and the choice John eventually has to make reminds me of the following films: Toy Story 3, You Me and Depree, School of Rock and just about every other "third wheel" movie in existense! Everything aspect about the film is both subpar and has been done far too many times. Mark Wahlberg's Boston accent falls flat in this one, he tends to switch in and out of it whenever he pleases and it gets really distracting.
Ted isn't that funny either. Like Seth Macfarlane's other terrible project, Family Guy, this film relies on pop culture jokes. When Ted becomes an unknown former celebrity he says "I'm like Cory Feldman" . After Ted gets kidnapped by a rather creepy father and son the dad is dancing to "I think I'm alone now" by Tiffany. The nostalgia of these 80's and 90's reference may bring back fond memories for the audience but it's mindless. Should the quality of a movie be judged on how many pop culture references they can fit in within an hour or two? Mind you Woody Allen would often give references throughout his films but he did it in an intelligent way. A bit of Ted's humour also comes from his potty mouth, but even that gets old within five minutes.
In conclusion, I sincerely regret giving my money to such mindless crap. Aside from the "Look what Jesus did!" Reporter there was nothing inteeresting or worthwhile about this film. Hasn't our mainstream culture evolved past such stupid forms of "comedy"? Judging from the success of this and Family Guy, I guess not. From now on I vow only to see indie film in theatres, art made by actual artists. If you have any intelligence whatsoever, avoid this film at all costs. Piss on it! 0,5/5
No comments:
Post a Comment