Santa With Muscles (1996) Review- By Michael J. Carlisle

Title: Santa With Muscles
Year: 1996
Director: John Murlowski
Country: US
Language: English

By 1996 Hulk Hogan, a then household name, was rapidly losing his luster. He had brought "Hulkamania" to World Championship Wrestling, only to see a more edgy audience boo his family friendly 80's gimmick. In the Summer of that year he would join the bad guys, forming the New World Order, and revitalizing his career in the process. For some inexplicable reason he decided to do Santa With Muscles, a move which did nothing to help his in-ring or out-of-ring career. 

In this, an evil millionaire believes he is Santa Claus after an accident renders him amnesiac. 

Hulk Hogan is the anti-Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in terms of his film career. Dwayne is one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood, while Hogan struggled to make audiences care about his films even at the peak of his career. None of his movies come even close to entertaining, well except for Gremlins 2, but that was a random cameo! That doesn't count! Is it Hogan's fault? He's a fairly charismatic guy who knows how to cut a promo, but it doesn't seem to translate well beyond "Say your prayers and eat your vitamins brother!". 

It also doesn't help that Hogan doesn't have a good director or script-writers. Santa With Muscles is a comedy without any jokes, unless you count the extremely cringe-worthy "laugh because it's so bad" one-lines. Santa with Muscles is a Christmas movie without any heart, spirit, or SNOW. How do you have a Christmas movie without ANY FREAKING SNOW. 

A critic at the time said "Hulk Hogan makes Arnold Schwarzenegger seem like Laurence Olivier", and it's fairly hard to disagree. Grossing only 200K in its initial and subsequent releases, Santa with Muscles doesn't even have the pleasure to consider itself a box office success. A failure in so many ways, watch only for an ironic laugh.